Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Chelsea & Chuy

How can you not love them?!!?

You Doubt My Truth, That Hurts

I am paralyzed by the doubt I hear in the voices of people I call friends, people that I would expect to have engaged in a feeling of care and concern after what I told them, people that doubt my truth. As it turns out, THE TRUTH for you all on the dubious side, I was drugged on Friday night at a bar. Trust me, this was not my first reaction to the events that happened after a night of light drinking for me. We went to the bar around 6:30pm and I was there until about 10pm. In that time period I consumed 2 drinks and one shot, pretty spaced out. I already felt pretty drunk after my first drink, but didn't think much of it. Later in the night I started to feel really weird, I thought it was just that I was too drunk and should go home, but I know that I felt a different drunk, not the drunk you normally feel, I felt strange and weird. I walked the one block back to my apartment, talked to my roommate for a minute and then literally passed out. I woke up to a pool of vomit in my bed, because I had apparently thrown up in my sleep. I spent most of my Saturday morning, from about 6 am to 10 am in the bathroom trying to regain my sense of being a living creature. It took me much of the day to recover from this physically. Mentally and emotionally I have not yet recovered. After talks with friends, and the pieces of my Friday night somewhat put back together, it became evident that I experienced all the classic symptoms of being drugged. I don't remember a chunk of my night, my senses were completely out of whack and the fact that I threw up in my sleep further solidified what I hoped was not true, but indeed that I was drugged.

Now imagine how scary that is, and then imagine telling your friends about this and MOST of them express serious concern and it makes you feel a sense of security to know that you have these people that are genuinely concerned. Then you have the people that seem to think that this is just an indication that you are a lightweight, or that this is just too crazy to be true. I want to know how someone who knows you, knows you don't lie, in fact, can't tell a lie to save your life, could even possibly doubt that this is true. I just want to put this out there in the universe that I am completely offended as an honest human being and as these people's friends that could doubt my truth, that instead of concern I get belittling comments and snide remarks.

Truthfully, BECAUSE I DON'T LIE, that hurts.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


Honesty is kind of hard word to define, and probably one that most people define differently. The first word in relation to honesty is that it is a quality. A quality is a charcterisitic or a trait. One of the things that makes us all intrinsically human is that we all have the capability to do what is right, to act responsibly, truthfully and honestly. The problem in human life lies where the responsibilty, the truth and the honesty should be directed. Some people do it all for their families, some people do it for themselves, some do it for their countries and some people do it for their jobs. Everyone's sense of responsibilty,truth and honesty is different, we all meausre it differently which makes it hard to define.

What I think should be universal is that we should all be honest with eachother and with ourselves. Everyone who knows me knows that I am an honest person, pretty blunt, a tell it like it is kind of person. I do this because I don't think there is any need to sugar coat things or play games. I think you should be able to say to someone I feel this way, or I think this, and this is why and go from there. For example...I think that life is waaaay to short to sweat the small stuff, and that people always think they can do it tomorrow, or a week from now, whatever, and people take for granted that tomorrow, a week from now, whatever, will be here. We do not know for sure that it will be. I also think that people make it really hard for everyone else to be honest, because people read too much into things, or just take from it what they want to create their own truths.

This is officially one of my little rants, because I think people rely too much on other people's truth and it makes us all incapable of being who we really want to be, or who we really should or could be.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


Hmm, do you ever feel like you have been ousted off of an Island that you had a hand in building?!? That's how I currently feel. It's funny too, because I ALWAYS said I wanted a private island and have been very careful in handing out invitations. To this day I think I have officially invited less than 5 people to my island. That being said, I am usually a pretty good judge of character. I have probably incorrectly judged someone's character in about 3% of people I have met. Those are pretty good odds.
It's funny though how if you "invite" someone somewhere, they then turn-around and the close the door on you. Funny.
But guess what, Karma's a bitch!