What Inspires Me...

So today I was home because my insides decided to wage war on me and set fire to my plan of extreme productivity..sigh. I was looking for something when I came across my folder of pictures that inspire me, things that I have just pulled from magazines. It's an interesting way to look at yourself, and a good way to see if you have always stayed true to you. When I get a moment I will scan some of the pics that inspire me so you can see too. In the meantime, check out this blog:

http://whatinthesamhillnow.blogspot.com

It is from my friend/camper/coworker Sam who was diagnosed with Colon Cancer at the age of 23 earlier this year. Thanks to an early diagnosis and what seems to me the best support system ever designed, Sam is taking life by storm and blogging her thoughts and photos. Check it out when you can, seriously...she inspires me!

I can see clearly now the rain is gone

This week has really helped bring about even more clarification to my life. I'm an open book so I am not embarrassed to say that I had a bit of a meltdown at work this week. I never cry about work, because I always feel like there is so much more that deserves my tears and I am not a huge crier (not counting commericals, tv and movies, those things always get me!!) This week though, work got to me, and my usually calm, cool and collected self got very overwhelmed and frustrated and even though it was all a bit emotional it was so clarifying.

2010

It's a new decade, WOOT!! How can this not bring about the desire for something new, and different. I'm looking for a little life shake-up and in the spirit have made some very attainable resolutions for 2010. I wanted to write them down somewhere so I can track my progress for the year.

In 2010 I Resolve To:

1) Make 2010 a great year. Instead of hoping for a year I am grabbing 2010 by the balls and making it a great year

2) Take more advantage of NYC and everything this city has to offer

3) Go to brunch more

4) Be more active


I am well on my way with all of these things and am already loving 2010. Here's to having a firm grip on this decade and taking control.

Peace, Love & 2010

I Understand, Really I Do

Why is that when someone is telling you a story and you say, "I understand" they don't actually think you mean it? It is quite possibly one of the most frustrating things in the world. Same thing when someone says, "You have no idea," "You don't even know" or "You can't even imagine." Really?? Are you certain that I have no idea, or that I wouldn't know? Are you doubting the depths of my imagination? Try me, because most of the time, I do understand, I do know, I have an idea and I could most definitely imagine it.

So many people are so convinced that everything bad happens to them and only to them. They want the sympathy but are uninterested in your empathy. Why do people invite that drama into their life? It comforts me to know that other people have been where I am, that some footsteps were already created. Trust me, you are not the only one that this happened to and you won't be the last.

Always remember that it's not about what happens to you, but rather how you react to what happens to you.

Drama Free

My roommate, who I love dearly, is a bit of a drama queen. This is not me talking behind her back, she knows it as we have spoken about it many times. Everything that happens to her is the biggest deal in the world and she always tell the story so it has that tone of our parents and grandparents stories when they tell us they walked miles to school, in the snow, with no shoes. I usually entertain her drama filled moment for about 1-3 minutes. Last night though, I was not in the mood. She had apparently dropped her cell phone into the toilet and thought she was the only person in the world that this has ever happened to. I calmly told her that she could put her phone in rice and I have heard several times that has been successful in saving people's waterlogged phones.

Every time something like this happens and someone reacts like the world is collapsing on them, my response is always, "Worse things have happened." How is it that I am one of very few people that realizes that? I have been plagued with several sicknesses, some chronic, and am infamous for having bad luck. I almost never complain and I just don't get how other people can't see past their problems to bigger picture. In the grand scheme of life, you are just one being, so you have to imagine that there are others out there with similar experiences, and then others who have it waaaay worse. We live in NYC, don't you think that after passing 6 bums on your way home that you might think your life is a little bit better. Let me put it this way:

Your day: I dropped my cell phone in a toilet while I was out to dinner at a nice restaurant with my friends after work.

Bums bad day: Sat on the street somewhere hoping that someone would take mercy on me and give me some food, or some money to get food, maybe even something to keep me warm.

I guess I just wish that people would realize how fortunate they are, even if you are not a millionaire living the high life. The fact that you have a job, a place to live, money to eat and clothe yourself, a roof over you head, that anything else that happens is like an added bonus.

So you dropped your cell phone in the water, it's replaceable. Life will go on.

I prefer to be drama free.

Top Of The Morning To You...

I am not a morning person. People who know me well, know that, but for some reason they choose to ignore it. I need at least an hour before I have any interest in talking to anyone in the morning. This is often mistaken for rudeness, EVEN if people know I am not a morning person. So why do people just ignore the obvious? If you already know something is fact, why not take it at face value? Why do you have to so completely overlook it?

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same..Or Do they?

Do you ever sit back and silently evaluate your life and your friendships and the relationships that surround you? I do, all the time, I am constantly taking it all in. I can safely say that I observe more than any one person I know. This has to do with my fascination with people and the way we each respond to certain things and our varying differences. I am constantly aware, for better or worse, of how the way I act affects other people. I don't think, actually I know for a fact, that other people are not as aware of this as I am. Sometimes it is a blessing in disguise, other times it is a pain in the ass. Why is that I am so conscious of other people's emotions that sometimes it affects the way I am. I mean, I truly have sympathy for people when they are in pain, when they are happy, sad, scared, nervous, excited, anxious etc. I am not sure that anyone is that intuitive about my emotions, and the way that I will react. Often times, people have me pegged as the wrong person. I have a "friend" who didn't want to tell me something she was going through because she thought I would be disappointed in her situation. In all actuality, my first instinct is to sympathize with someone, to feel how they are feeling, and to feel for them and for what they are going through. Judging people is never one of my instincts. I guess this rant is more about my disappointment in her understanding of me and my capabilities as her friend. It hurts to know that someone who calls you their friend, doesn't trust you enough to let you help them go through this. And, not even that, doesn't trust that you are able to help them through that. It's the lack of confidence that kills, but then what kills even more is finding out that someone you really thought had that confidence and trust in you is defending the other party. I'm sorry, but I can tell you from personal experience and hardship that putting trust and confidence in your friends is the best way to find out who your true friends are. You shouldn't shut people out without even giving them the opportunity to prove you wrong. That is just how I feel about all of this, and is this is like my diary, I am writing it here, for everyone (or no one) to read!